Paranormal Factor

I am not against animals, trying to lose weight, male enhancement or having a good credit report or anything, but I am trying to figure out the repetitive nature of these commercials. Do they really mean anything to us. Are these advertisers really desperate or are they making so much money that they can torture us all day long?

It has gotten so bad I have to vent:

FreeCreditReport.com – Okay. We know his story. He married his girlfriend and he didn’t know her credit was bad. So now, instead of living in a pleasant suburb he is living in the basement at her mom and dad’s. My response: You should be happy you even have a home and that her parents were generous enough to put you up. You obviously can’t get a better paying job, perhaps that is the problem not having perfect credit.

But, wait, the story continues. He also can’t get a decent ride because his credit was bad and his posse is getting laughed at. My response: Be happy it’s paid for. Car payments are a drag. Oh and it’s not over yet. He also has to work in a restaurant. My response: Maybe you need some education. Student loans are not good but they are guarenteed. FreeCreditReport.com desires to beat the horse to death further as we learn that his bad credit prevented him from getting a car so now he has to ride a bike and he looks sad. My response: What did you do to your car? Imagine if you would have gotten a new one, you still would end up in the hitting a tree. Maybe you are a bad driver and shouldn’t be driving anyway. Besides, biking is good for the health and good on the environment.

Boflex - “I gave all my fat clothes to my fat friends” My response, I bet his friends are saying, “Thanks you awful, hideous ego man.” and are no longer his friends. But, as long as he lives in the world of the superficial he should be fine. Don’t get off the Boflex, the real world isn’t ready to have you back.

SPCA - Okay, I have no wish to offend my animal lover friends as well as become known as an animal hater, but if I have to listen to Sarah McLachlan one more time singing while sad animals are flashed in front of me, I may have to donate to the Christian Children’s Fund right away.

Lipozene - Okay, so you are fat and disgusting and can’t help it. The friendly folks of Lipozene have a miracle break through, blah blah blah.

Enzyte - Smiling Bob is smiling because he has a rare disorder similar to when the Joker fell into toxic waste. Women waiting in line to sit on his lap? That is utterly believable. None of us would be thrilled to sit on a part time Santa’s lap if he were intentionally, well, happy or if he had; well, a “gift that kept on giving” how inappropriate.